Until I really looked at myself in the mirror, got annoyed, and threw on a t-shirt that reads “I’m not dead yet” instead. I’ve been into fashion lately. Following blogs. Trying different make-up. Messing with complicated hair styles. I probably spent an extra hour in front of the mirror today doing my make-up which was eh, okay. Anyway, once I put the outfit on I suddenly felt like I was trying too hard, regardless of my sudden obsession with looking good. Now, I just resemble a hoodlum with dark circles around her tired and irritated eyes. Oh, and the braid in my hair. That was probably the only good thing about my attempted fashionista facade.
I am severely ashamed of how little I write seeing as I want to one day be a novelist. Today was the first day in MONTHS that I’ve sat down to write more of the book I’m writing. I haven’t been writing short stories, letters, hardly blogging… I mean, how can I make a living out of writing when I don’t make it my number one priority?!
Can I make a living out of writing if I don’t practice it every day? Should I go for something else? I HATE NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO!
The past few posts I have started off by saying I have been a terrible blogger as of late. Unfortunately, that hasn’t fixed the problem. However, I am now vowing to blog everyday even if I don’t have much to say.
I’m going to a One Direction concert on Saturday. yay! I do like concerts. I do love One Direction. But I hate travelling. As you might know, I am a very anxious individual. I have anxiety attacks randomly, and not often, but enough to make me wary during public occasions. Anyway, I have trouble in cars, especially when in a car with other people. I don’t want to be a burden, and I know I would be if I had to tell the driver to stop the car because I’m freaking out for no reason.
My anxiety really has hindered my life on so many levels. Five years ago I wouldn’t be worrying about getting in a car for three hours with friends. Now, I can’t sleep because of it. It bites, man.
Anyway, it sucks. I’m going to be all stocked up on Valium, so I’ll take two of those and zone out for the three hours of the trip. And my friends want to leave at 10 in the morning for a 7:30 concert. WHAT? I don’t care if there is traffic… it’s too early! Whatever. I can’t argue, because I never get my way anyway. I also wanted to drive, but that was pulled out from under me as well. I’m leaning towards driving separately, but again, I don’t want people to think I’m weird. I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY.
Guys, I want a job at Barnes and Noble. I don’t want to apply to anywhere else, because I want to get a job there so bad. I applied for the summer but they weren’t hiring, but I also applied at the one next to my school so maybe I could work there during the school year! But probably not ’cause luck never runs on my side…
I just want to be surrounding by the books I love. It’s like being surrounded by the characters who I know so much about. The stories. Their stories. The authors. It’s where I belong. Maybe they’ll read this blog post and realize how much they need me… maybe.
I’d like to know the meaning behind the “Miss Mary Mack” hand game.
I think it’s safe to say I’ve been pretty scarce lately. Honestly, I just keep forgetting to blog.
I am so bored. Having no job is torture. I’m tired all the time. I have horrible nightmares, and I don’t know why. I need to make a doctor’s appointment but I’m really not all that fond of doctors. I have no idea what to do with my time, and yet I forget to blog.
Luckily I am subbing at a daycare tomorrow so that will keep me busy. Regardless, I need a project. Any ideas?
sincerelystephanie.org 