Lesson #10: Adult coloring is NOT interactive porn

Adult coloring is not interactive porn.

Christmas morning, I received my first pair of adult coloring books. I had heard of this new phenomenon before–apparently, adult coloring is all the rage right now. To be honest, when I first heard the term “adult coloring,” I pictured books full of pale outlines of sex positions, naked women, and rock-hard penises (penii?) that I could bring to life with whatever colors I desired. That’s sick, I thought.  I soon would admit to myself that idea was preposterous. Of course that isn’t what “adult coloring” is… Although, in an age where books like Fifty Shades of Grey makes it onto the New York Times Bestseller list, my original assumption wasn’t that far-fetched.

Thank you Goodreads...
Thank you Goodreads…

But I digress…

Still, until Christmas morning, I had hardly an inkling as to what this adult coloring craze might be all about…

And then this happened...
And then this happened…

Oh, neat! I thought. If you look closely, the books claim to be great for stress-relief! Just what I need! I have stress. A lot of it. My stress is quite versatile, as it doubles as severe anxiety. *thumbs up*

So I took to coloring, and man oh man, let me tell you, adult coloring is the shit. And I don’t mean the kind that humans excrete and smells bad. I say “adult coloring is the shit” idiomatically (word?).

In the beginning, Stephanie created this...
In the beginning, Stephanie created this…

Adult coloring is rather addicting, and I say that proudly, because it can’t be the worst habit to form, right?  It’s already worked to take my mind off of all my anxious thoughts, like growing up, becoming (being) an adult, the future. Not to mention… it’s something to be proud of. As I colored, my intermittent “hand-breaks” became longer and longer so I could marvel at the progress I’d made.  Ladies, I do declare you’re all probably rather acquainted with the “hand-break.” Think about it.


In the beginning of the book, there is a key, loose suggestions as to what colors to use. I followed that pretty diligently, being a novice. But I soon came into my own and developed a personal, intrinsic “adult coloring” form, or rather, a sense of what might look “cool.”

Until, finally, nearly two days later, I defeated my task, which, I should add, had quickly become mandatory. I set my pencil down, wondered at my masterpiece, and whispered ceremoniously, “It is finished.”

It, indeed, is finished.
It, indeed, is finished.

I plan on hanging it on my wall–perhaps I’ll frame it. And as I continue to humor this new hobby, my wall will soon become monopolized by color and design and CREATIVITY and FEELING MADE TANGIBLE. Sorry, I let myself run away with my pretentiousness.

On a slightly different note, I encourage ALL OF YOU, like I will my friends, to take up this activity! It really is just simply enjoyable. “Good clean fun, adult coloring is.” – Yoda

Lesson learned: Adult coloring is a great way to harness the child in us all. I believe hiding that part of ourselves is synonymous with dishonoring everything that makes us who we are. Adult coloring is fun. Adult coloring is discovery. Adult coloring is the shit. 


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