1) I am easily aggravated by people. To make matters worse, I’m one of those quiet people who likes to grumble constantly under their breath, but never actually does anything to cease their grumbling. Too many times have my friends told me to chill. NO I WILL NOT CHILL SHE IS WEARING A SKIRT AND IT IS FORTY DEGREES UNDER!
2) I like to read. Talk to me about books. All books, every book. Books all day long. I love books so much. Give them all to me. Books.
3) I think I’m funnier than I actually am. I regret this everyday of my life. Hardly do I ever think of said regret, though. There is difference between regret and awareness (just made that up. It makes no sense.)
4) …which brings me to my next point… My mind can fabricate the most inspiring, most deepest (not grammatically correct), most life-changing ideas and thoughts that could potentially earn me a Peace Prize or something cool (even a slap on the back will suffice), but hardly do I remember them, or find the energy to write them down. My life is a tragedy.
5) I have a crush on Mark Twain. He truly inspires me, and I only discovered his brilliance this year. I encourage everyone to familiarize themselves with his humor, life, and morale.
6) I just recently decided that I like to add witty remarks inside parenthesis (there I go trying to be funny again) (poop).
7) Any respect you might have had for me prior to reading this has probably dissipated to nothing.
8) My positive reputation has eluded me.
9) I have X’s on my hands from a wild night of not drinking.
10) I have cat named Captain, and a dog named Hokie. I want to own five cats one day.